TO VCMM

02 May 2009 @ 05:24 pm

Harrison, I could never say to you exactly what my reasons for not choosing you were. If you’re reading this, then something has gone wrong somewhere. It’s either I have decided to tell you the truth and make you hate me forever, or it’s because somehow it doesn’t matter to me anymore.

I know you promised Ms. Li you wouldn’t get into a relationship. But you were willing to break that promise because you met a girl you liked. And that is something I can’t allow you to do.

All the teachers have such high expectations of you. You’re the Vice President of the Students’ Council. You have outstanding ‘O’ Level grades. You’re serious, and you’re hardworking. Yet, you’re distracted. You’re willing to spend time to SMS me every night, and you also willingly SMS me during lectures and lessons.

Your grades now aren’t the way they should be. You have a reputation to live up to, and I don’t want to hinder you in your path to success. It’s precisely because you contribute so much time and effort into our relationship, and I know I’ll have trouble reciprocating it, that I realize that I can’t be irresponsible and allow you to continue doing so. You have such great potential to achieve so much, and you should go ahead and do what you can.

I don’t know if this is the right choice I made, but I have made it anyway, and I cannot look back. I hope you’ll understand. It wasn’t easy to do this. So many times I wished that I had just said no to you from the start, so that none of us would have to get hurt. So it’s actually my fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.

I know that there is absolutely no way we can go back to the way we were. You’ll start to treat me differently, and I know that I have to force myself to get used to it. No more goodnight SMSes, no more accompaniment wherever I go, no more familiar greetings of “Clairy Beary”. I don’t think I need to tell you how much I will miss that.

I hope that we’ll still remain as good friends though. I hope you enjoy my company as much as I enjoy yours, and that you’ll still talk to me and confide in me about any troubles that you might have. I still care a lot about you, and nothing is going to change that. You're an awesome guy. I couldn't bear it if I were to lose you because of this.

私は貴方が好きだ。以前、貴方が好きだった、今、まだ好きだ。

I wish you all the best in whatever you do. To me, you’ll always be 毛毛副主席。

Love, Claire.