28 September 2009 @ 07:07 pm

Something is wrong with me recently… I can’t think straight. I keep tripping over myself, both literally and figuratively.

I need his support. I realize now that he is not the person who needs it more than me. In truth, I need it just as equally. Especially in times when I feel super stressed, like when I’m tied down by too many things and I feel so overwhelmed by… everything.

I want him to be near me; I need him because I want to cry on his shoulder, but when he is at my side, I can’t seem to talk to him the way I want to. I can’t get close to him because of his reputation, and I don’t want to cry in front of everybody. In the end, I bottle up everything and I only feel worse, making him feel bad as well.

But I can’t seem to bring myself to do it.

He says that I seem more supportive towards him than he is towards me. But that’s only because he is someone who can tell me why he is feeling sad, or what he needs me to do. I, on the other hand, am someone who finds it hard to tell people exactly how I feel. I can’t even tell my brother.
I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to open up to anyone at all.